Hello blog readers, this two weeks we had worked in colaborative storyes. We worked in pairs writing a pharagraph for each story.This is the story we had written my friend Uranga and I (click here to enter his blog). Of course this Thriler story is a improved version of the original one, but if you wont to see the original one click here.
Please rate and coment, I would answer any question you ask.
It was a dark evening, and I was at home when a note was introduced under the door. It was an anonymous note. I opened it and it said that my father had been kidnapped and that if I wanted to see him again I would have to give them 3,000,000$ before midnight and, of course, I didn’t have that money.
Please rate and coment, I would answer any question you ask.
NECESARY ROBBERY
It was a dark evening, and I was at home when a note was introduced under the door. It was an anonymous note. I opened it and it said that my father had been kidnapped and that if I wanted to see him again I would have to give them 3,000,000$ before midnight and, of course, I didn’t have that money.
I was very scared, I didn't know what to do. I didn’t have the money but it was my father, what would I have to do? I took a decision, I think the fastest method to get money: stealing. I took the Magnum of .44 of my father and I prepared the plan to rob a bank. I took a balaclava, a hat and some black glasses so that to nobody could recognize me.
At 2:00 AM, I decided to go to my garage, and I took the map of the nearest bank, and when I was deciding how to enter I realised that I couldn't do it alone, and I decided to call my best friend named Mariano. Mariano said to me that he was very busy, but finally I convinced him and he came with me.
I met Mariano in the nearest park of the BBVA bank. We passed some hours preparing the robbery and when we were prepared to act we realised that the bank had already closed. Suddenly, I received a call, the kidnapper told me that the limit of giving him the money had decreased. What was I going to do? But I found the solution to my problem.
Mariano told me the bank of the other street, bank of Santander, had a door in the back and nobody was watching it, so we decided to go to that bank and make the robbery. When they went to the back door, was closed with a very big padlock. We took a axe and we opened the door with it. We were in the offices of the bank, so to get into the safe we had to go to the third floor and and put the correct password.
They were a lot of guards, so we couldn't do an armed robbery until we were in the third floor. we went to the third floor going from the fire exit stairs, once we were there we tried to put the correct password but we couldn't. It was there when my telephone rang, it was the kidnapper. He said "I'm watching you, you are doing well, the password is 0987654321234567890." we entered the password and it was correct. We were in the safe and I took the amount of money I needed, but Mariano as he was impressed he took the all the money he could.
When we were going out, my phone rang, was the kidnapper again . "Let's play a game, you have two minutes to get out of the bank." suddenly, the alarm was switched on and the guards were pursuing us. We only have two guns and they too many policeman for us.Mariano shooting against the policeman with out control, I told him to stop we didn't wont to kill anybody. As he didn't pay me any attention I decided to go because I had to rescue my father. I started to run outside and I saw that the police killed Mariano, I robed a car and I went to the central park to meet with the kidnapper.
In the Park I saw a white car that was familiar to me. I knocked to the car's door and a strange and at the same time familiar man opened the door. I couldn't believe he was my father! He said "Thanks soon, this money is going to be very usefull for me but... GAME OVER!!! I heared a dry noise in my head...
At 2:00 AM, I decided to go to my garage, and I took the map of the nearest bank, and when I was deciding how to enter I realised that I couldn't do it alone, and I decided to call my best friend named Mariano. Mariano said to me that he was very busy, but finally I convinced him and he came with me.
I met Mariano in the nearest park of the BBVA bank. We passed some hours preparing the robbery and when we were prepared to act we realised that the bank had already closed. Suddenly, I received a call, the kidnapper told me that the limit of giving him the money had decreased. What was I going to do? But I found the solution to my problem.
Mariano told me the bank of the other street, bank of Santander, had a door in the back and nobody was watching it, so we decided to go to that bank and make the robbery. When they went to the back door, was closed with a very big padlock. We took a axe and we opened the door with it. We were in the offices of the bank, so to get into the safe we had to go to the third floor and and put the correct password.
They were a lot of guards, so we couldn't do an armed robbery until we were in the third floor. we went to the third floor going from the fire exit stairs, once we were there we tried to put the correct password but we couldn't. It was there when my telephone rang, it was the kidnapper. He said "I'm watching you, you are doing well, the password is 0987654321234567890." we entered the password and it was correct. We were in the safe and I took the amount of money I needed, but Mariano as he was impressed he took the all the money he could.
When we were going out, my phone rang, was the kidnapper again . "Let's play a game, you have two minutes to get out of the bank." suddenly, the alarm was switched on and the guards were pursuing us. We only have two guns and they too many policeman for us.Mariano shooting against the policeman with out control, I told him to stop we didn't wont to kill anybody. As he didn't pay me any attention I decided to go because I had to rescue my father. I started to run outside and I saw that the police killed Mariano, I robed a car and I went to the central park to meet with the kidnapper.
In the Park I saw a white car that was familiar to me. I knocked to the car's door and a strange and at the same time familiar man opened the door. I couldn't believe he was my father! He said "Thanks soon, this money is going to be very usefull for me but... GAME OVER!!! I heared a dry noise in my head...
